Animal Husbandry
When I invited you to the party
It was a bit of a surprise when I realized
That the bright festoons, streamers and cake
Had been replaced with a rocks, a worn rubber ball and bananas
All the trappings of a Primate Cage.
Where were the guests- disappeared.
Wait, there they were. No longer guests, but visitors
Eyes transfixed, face pressed against the plexiglass
Watching how I’d fare with your prancing, pacing, alpha self
Swaggering, charging, grunting and swaying
Circling me, waiting for me to make the first move
I must admit I failed in every aspect of Primate 101
I dd not beat my chest when you beat yours
I did not climb to the top of the stunted enclosed tree and screech
My dominance.
I was too busy looking for my party.
Searching for the favors, picking up the tattered streamers and
Affixing them to the wall
I hummed Happy Birthday to myself as I tried to recreate the mood
I tried to avoid making eye contact with your damaged, angry, alpha eyes
Looking wildly into mine
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I invited you to the party
I did not realize that the corners would reek with the scent
Of your markings
That scatch marks
would mar my freshly painted walls
And a pile of dung would greet me
when I unwrapped a present
The importunings of others that you and I have a little “talk”
were all lost on me
I did not feel like talking,
They say with wild animals one should calmly and carefully back away
Showing you my profile so you do not become incensed
TIll I find the exit or maybe even a less obvious way out
Thinking the thought, “If I make it out alive, I’ll be sure to post a, Beware of Primates When Trying To Throw A Party” signs all along the rim.
Reasoning is useless,
behavioral training is called for
A carrot and a stick, a whip and electric gun
I should sit down and have a talk with you
about my boundaries and proper party protocol
But I don’t know sign language or any other form of communication
that you would understand
I think of having someone sign a letter to KoKo
and ask her how to make you realize
That, while it is my party
I am not one to pee in the corners as a way to mark my place
I thought we were beyond all that.
That you would eat cake and drink wine and enjoy yourself
The problem was when I gave you the invite to my party last year,
you were ungracious even then
And I ignored it.
One is not told, at birth, how much animal husbandry is required
Just to have a life.
It was a bit of a surprise when I realized
That the bright festoons, streamers and cake
Had been replaced with a rocks, a worn rubber ball and bananas
All the trappings of a Primate Cage.
Where were the guests- disappeared.
Wait, there they were. No longer guests, but visitors
Eyes transfixed, face pressed against the plexiglass
Watching how I’d fare with your prancing, pacing, alpha self
Swaggering, charging, grunting and swaying
Circling me, waiting for me to make the first move
I must admit I failed in every aspect of Primate 101
I dd not beat my chest when you beat yours
I did not climb to the top of the stunted enclosed tree and screech
My dominance.
I was too busy looking for my party.
Searching for the favors, picking up the tattered streamers and
Affixing them to the wall
I hummed Happy Birthday to myself as I tried to recreate the mood
I tried to avoid making eye contact with your damaged, angry, alpha eyes
Looking wildly into mine
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I invited you to the party
I did not realize that the corners would reek with the scent
Of your markings
That scatch marks
would mar my freshly painted walls
And a pile of dung would greet me
when I unwrapped a present
The importunings of others that you and I have a little “talk”
were all lost on me
I did not feel like talking,
They say with wild animals one should calmly and carefully back away
Showing you my profile so you do not become incensed
TIll I find the exit or maybe even a less obvious way out
Thinking the thought, “If I make it out alive, I’ll be sure to post a, Beware of Primates When Trying To Throw A Party” signs all along the rim.
Reasoning is useless,
behavioral training is called for
A carrot and a stick, a whip and electric gun
I should sit down and have a talk with you
about my boundaries and proper party protocol
But I don’t know sign language or any other form of communication
that you would understand
I think of having someone sign a letter to KoKo
and ask her how to make you realize
That, while it is my party
I am not one to pee in the corners as a way to mark my place
I thought we were beyond all that.
That you would eat cake and drink wine and enjoy yourself
The problem was when I gave you the invite to my party last year,
you were ungracious even then
And I ignored it.
One is not told, at birth, how much animal husbandry is required
Just to have a life.
